The Traveling Rooster

Since I know all of you are just DYING to know how my weekend with my MIL and SIL went (with your mouths slightly open and drooling, all that goodness), I thought I’d wait til Thursday night to post anything to leave you in anticipation.

Or, I just got into my TV shows and a package of Oreos. I’ll let you be the judge.

We had a great visit with them, as we always do because they are lovely and wonderful. I put a comfy memory-foam mattress topper on the guest bed and a candle and some magazines on the nightstand, so how much more homey can it get up in there? Apparently, it’s the best room in the house (or Mona likes them more than us), because she now loves to sleep at the foot of the guest bed.

I made dinner, which was good, except I left the asparagus in WAY too long and they shriveled up like little demon fingers. Everyone but me ate all their asparagus and said it was good, but I still don’t believe them. Let’s just call it like it is:  It was shriveled beyond repair. But the good news is, I got to use all my fancy pewter serving pieces that we got as wedding gifts.

On Saturday morning, Jim Ann had to leave, but we had Leslee for the whole weekend. It rained and rained and rained some more on Saturday, but we still got out and showed Leslee the bustling town of Corsicana, then went to H-E-B to get her some store-brand gummy worms. She also bought me some Reese’s Pieces. We went back home for naptime, then went to eat margherita pizza in Waxahachie and came home to watch “Everything Must Go” with Will Ferrell. I fell asleep before it was over and Logan had to tell me how it ended. Exciting, right?

On Sunday, we went shopping in Dallas at REI and Northpark (the fancy schmancy mall with stores like Barney’s, Tiffany’s and Gucci). It’s fun to go because they have stores like J. Crew and H&M and Anthropologie, but I always feel a bit out of place. For instance, when I went into American Apparel, some guy who works there said he liked my sweater…but he said it a little condescendingly. Then, I got the look-over by some hipster-looking 80’s-clothes-wearing blonde girl with a sour face, like I wasn’t supposed to be in there unless I did more things ironically. I know I’m no fashionista, but I’m pretty sure my clothes are normal-looking most of the time. Nothing to give the look-over about.

Also, Northpark reminds you of the kinds of things people buy who have too much money in proportion to their brains. Like gigantic fur vests. I do not see the purpose of this unless you are in the wild and are wearing the fur of an animal you skinned yourself to keep warm to survive. That’s the only reason you should be wearing a gigantic fur vest. I get it, it’s a fashion thing. But the size of this thing was unbelievable.

Anyway, we had a lovely time with Leslee before we dropped her off at the airport, but she did leave one thing behind.

As I was winding down that evening back at home, I got a text from her that said, “I think there might be a rooster in your guest bedroom window. You should check it out.” I was puzzled. In our little farming community, a lot of people have chickens, so I thought a neighboring rooster may have woken her up early with its cock-a-doodle-do. Silly me, focusing on being a good hostess while my sister-in-law was being evilly conniving.

When I went to check behind the curtains in the guest bedroom, I found this monstrosity:

The infamous rooster cutting board. There’s a story behind this.

Leslee received the rooster cutting board as a wedding gift in 2010. I like to annoy her in whatever way that I can, so I made fun of it because it was shaped like a chicken, and it became somewhat of an inside joke. Whenever we went shopping, I would pick up hideous kitchen items that had chickens on them and say, “Leslee, you need this in your kitchen. It goes with your rooster cutting board!” The last time we visited them in Amarillo, I secretly hid the rooster in her bed, under the covers, and then left like nothing had happened. I thought it was HILARIOUS and laughed all the way home, picturing her pulling back her covers and recoiling in horror at the unseemly sight of the rooster.

Now, she paid me back. She left the rooster cutting board in MY HOUSE with a message that says, “Happy first home as an old married couple!!” Touche, Leslee. Touche. I will get you back when you least expect it. Be warned!

Because I am a wonderful sister-in-law, here is a link to Leslee’s blog, Heavy Love.. She was an English major and is an awesome person, so of course her blog is awesome too.

But the rooster cutting board? That is not awesome.

(Although I love the idea of a traveling rooster cutting board. Don’t tell Leslee though).

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